Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Make Like A Tree

I spent last weekend with some of the most incredible, sincere, and smart women at MBC's Women's Conference. Lisa Chan was our keynote speaker and I think it's safe to say that I want to be her best friend. Or at the very least, a devout fan. Talk about a godly woman. I think part of why I connected with her so much is that she, like me, is a crier. Every once in a while, she'd be talking about some point or another that is clearly hitting close to home and she would just become so raw and genuine with us and the tears would start flowing. She even apologized at one point for crying, in case there were any women in the room who were criers when they saw other people crying. Ha! Too funny. Too me. I wonder how many men would identify with that statement...I can just see all of the confused expressions. "You mean you start crying...when someone else is crying? Even if you're not sad or directly impacted by what is happening?" Yes. Yes, I do.

"I will be with the One I love; with unveiled face, I'll see Him..."

Lisa talked about many topics, weaving in a lot of personal anecdotes. Her three sessions were titled "Be Still", "Deny Yourself", and "Not of this World". During all of them she had incredible things to say, but I think the biggest take away for me during this weekend was that this is all such a journey. As are all meaningful relationships. You can be a pastor's wife and still be learning these lessons. You can be 40+ years old and still feel so naive at times about matters of the heart. Oddly, that gives me a lot of comfort. Instead of feeling like I'm the only one who's not getting it, I can now relax and soak in everything that is going on around and within me.

In all of the areas where God has been working in my life lately, trust has remained a constant theme. Trust in Him and His sufficiency. The more I get to know Him, the more I want to know Him. Last night at church, John was talking about how you know when you've found "The One" (capital T, capital O) and he said that when you're dating "Not-The-One", the more you get to know them, the more you realize eh...there's more fish in the sea. But when you're with "The One", the more you get to know them, the more you fall in love with them, and consequently, the more you want to keep getting to know them. It's simple. So simple that we miss it. That is exactly where I am in my life right now. I get excited about spending time with God. I am thoroughly enjoying reading through my Bible and really learning the stories I've known since childhood. I love getting to know Him more, and the more I learn, the more in love with Him I fall. Conversely, because of all of the healing and growing taking place, I no longer feel the need to squash the loneliness by making compromises and trying to force square pegs into round holes. Loneliness is ok. Sitting in your loneliness is ok, too. It teaches you things and makes you appreciate healthy relationships and companionship so much more.

"...there my soul will be satisfied. Soon and very soon."

I am so thankful for the blossoming relationships that I have in my life right now - both new and old. One thing that Lisa discussed is the hesitancy and blatant resistance that we sometimes experience when we feel the Lord leading us away from our comfort zone. Saying goodbye to familiar faces and places is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and quite frankly sometimes I throw a tantrum when I have to do it. But like with gardening (this is laughable that I am about to talk about gardening - I have the anti-green thumb) when you need to pare the tree to remove the unhealthy decay and help it continue growing, so too do we need to occasionally remove unhealthy decay from our own lives in order to experience growth. Alternatively, sometimes you find that plants that you once thought dead can be revived and brought back into full bloom with the right nurturing and care. Those plants are keepers.

Oh garden metaphors. Really branching out over here. Getting all sappy. Oak-ay I think it's bed thyme.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Follow by Email