Thursday, September 24, 2015

A Typical Week with a Tiny Person


At the bottom of three flights of stairs with a toddler on your hip, you realize you left your phone upstairs. You pause and turn slowly. "Nah...don't need it."


Just as you are standing to flush the toilet, you realize you are now racing a tiny mutant ninja toddler who is running full steam ahead toward the toilet, arm fully extended, binky in his hand ready for the dunk. He wins.


Remember how meticulously that nice man at the optometrist tweaked and straightened your glasses so they sat perfectly on your face? Now you're just lucky to keep them on your face.


Someone can't sleep, so you graciously allow them to cuddle up beside you, assuming you will both slip peacefully back into slumber state and dream for hours...that is until you are jolted awake by the tiny foot that has found its way to your neck.


In spite of how many exercises and stretches you do, you are absolutely certain you will end up in a back brace before your 30th birthday.

Weekend (!!)


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